Dear Family:
Xerox finally told me that their search to find me a new job has failed and that I am to finally be let go. This means that I can suck you all dry of the money you poor working stiffs have to contribute to my Social Security payment every month. It's a shame that the fund will be bankrupt by the time you all retire. If I haven't blown all my money on Sloe Gin and Fast Women when you retire you are welcome what is left. You should be able to re-dye my Civil War uniforms so you won't look too funny while you are dumpster diving for food.
My arms are almost cured and I am now working out at the YMCA every day now that I am not in pain. (You can call me Arnold.) I am running a mile and not throwing up or crying.
As soon as I can figure out how to post pictures I will show you all how cool I look in my cowboy outfit. We have a shoot tomorrow.
If anyone is planning to come home please let me know. I am available for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Dad
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